Chapter Sixteen
“It was a July morning…a July 31st. He hates Harry Potter.
“Everyone was gone from the house. They had decided to visit Mum’s grave but I was still – the wounds were still too fresh for me to go. I felt like she died because of me. I felt like if only I wasn’t such an idiot for following the leader, so to speak, she would still be here. I wouldn’t be so screwed up if she were here. He would never have dared tried what he did.”
“I remember I was up in my room, writing to my friend, Hermione Granger. He came into my room. I had a sudden feeling of suspicion flood through me. He hadn’t been a welcomed guest in our house since before my fifth year. I just chalked it up to that. How wrong was I. I wish I had listened to myself now. Anyway, he sat down on my bed, which was next to my desk on which I was writing on. I asked him what he wanted. He went on and on about something. I wasn’t listening. Then he started talking about Mum and how it was my fault. He fed me into my fears. He started shouting. He said that it was all my fault that he couldn’t make up with her. He said that he could now never be happy because of the guilt he would forever harbor for not asking for forgiveness. That’s when it all went downhill.
“He grabbed me by my shirt collar. He yanked it so hard…I just remember choking. My eyes instantly watered. I shouted for him to get off but he wouldn’t listen. He just went on about never getting to say goodbye. He, then, got this look in his eyes. He forced me out the chair, knocking over the desk. My legs hit and dragged it along with me. My tank smashed; water was everywhere. I was so shocked…he took advantage of that as well. He rammed me against a wall.
“I remember hearing him unbuckling and pulling himself out of his trousers. I was beyond panic at that point. I pleaded for him to leave me alone. I would accept that it was my fault…I said I’d tell everyone…he didn’t listen. I felt his hands at the back of my neck, my throat, dragging down my shirt…under it, the front of my pants…he yanked those off of me.”
“He slammed into me…it was so quick and painful and it burned so much. He moaned into my ear. He groaned about how tight I was and how good I felt. He told me that I could never tell…he would hurt all those who had shunned him…my family. He said he would kill them. I believed him. I never thought he was capable of what he was doing but here he was…in and out, in and out. It seemed like it would never end. I felt blank as he was doing it. All I knew was that I had to stay quiet about it all. He told me that I would be his best-kept secret. He came inside me and pulled out. I tugged my jeans on and fell onto the floor – my legs gave out. He grabbed my hair, yanked me to him, and kissed me. He said that I was the best yet. He said if I ever told…they would all die.
“It never stopped. He came every chance he could get…mainly at night. I learned to stay silent. I forced myself to never speak again because one night I threatened to tell. That was the worst night ever. It was all day. Kisses and touches and entry and kicks and tongues. That was the day he stayed for dinner. He sat next to me. I had learned that I was never to speak again earlier in the day but he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t forget once he left. He slid his hands into my pants front and he gave me a hand job. I don’t know what else you would call it. I recall throwing up so much after that. I ate a little but it seemed like so much more with each heave I gave…it was horrible…it took so long before I could hold food down after that, before I could eat with other people and not become sick.”
“Thank you, Ronald. I’ll escort you to your family.” Minister of Magic Fudge announced.
“Okay.” Ron responded.
“You did very well.”
Ron nodded in acceptance as Fudge placed a friendly hand on Ron’s shoulder and escorted him out.
His surviving family, Harry, Hermione and Draco were waiting in the hallway, pacing or sitting or leaning against a wall. Everyone was so nervous and jumpy. Everyone stared at him. He couldn’t believe he was ever so afraid. These people, all these people who cared for him, were in his life and he had faith in their strength.
“Did he really need to take Veritaserum?” Arthur quietly asked as he stepped aside to speak to Fudge.
“Well, unfortunately, we are dealing with a staff member, a personal staff member of mine. Court Scribes are allowed fair trials.” Fudge replied. “You may want to get him out. He’s coming.”
“Thank you.” Arthur grabbed his Muggle flight jacket that he wore to work from a nearby chair. “Let’s head out everyone.” He announced.
Ron hadn’t paid much attention. He went over to Charlie and grabbed his jacket.
A chill ran down his spine. It was so similar to that day. He turned around and there was Percy. He was walking stoically, never looking to the side of him or at his family. Ron froze on the spot. He leaned close to Charlie. What was he doing here so early?
Fred began, “Slimy…”
“…bastard.” George finished. In a flurry of action the twins were rushing off down the hall. Harry chased after them followed by Bill.
“I’ll get him out of here. Granger, come and help.” He heard Draco say to Charlie. A tug on his arm and he was gone.
They tugged him towards some empty conference room. Hermione shut the door soundlessly. Draco pulled a chair out from a long table and coaxed Ron to sit.
“Are you alright?”
“What is he doing here? They said he would be at 10:30 not 10:20. Where’s Ginny? I don’t trust him anywhere near her.” Ron jumped out of the seat.
Draco pushed him back down. His arms remained on his shoulders. “She can handle herself. You take a breather. Everything is over. Everything will get better.”
Ron looked into Draco’s eyes. “They can’t get better. Not yet. I still have one last thing to do.”
“What?” Draco sat on the tabletop.
“You’ll see later.”
It was late at night. Everyone had left who needed to leave. Harry went to Remus’ and Hermione went home. Draco, who was supposed to head back to the Manor, was standing off to the east of the house, awaiting Ron’s signal.
When Ron announced that he was dating, everyone was so excited to see his recovery was taking full effect. However, their joy was soon thwarted when Draco came to him, introducing himself as Ron’s significant other. No one liked it but, because they all shared a strong bond, a central idea – Ron – they tolerated Draco and were even beginning to accept bits and pieces of him.
Though Ron’s family had finally started the road to coming to terms with Ron’s choice of partners, Arthur didn’t want Draco spending the night in his house. He was a Malfoy; he was a man; he could hurt Ron as easily as Percy did. There was no longer an idea called trust. Draco understood his judgement and decided that he would leave with the rest of them. That’s the way it had been done since that fateful graduation day when Ron introduced Draco to his family as his boyfriend.
And because trust was such a sensitive subject, on the mend like Ron’s psyche, Draco had honored that decision every chance he was over. But today, Ron needed him and he was willing to risk the Weasley family’s trust to spend the night with Ron after such a trying day.
Draco entered the Burrow upon seeing Ron’s signal. Once inside, he shrugged off his black blazer, handing it over to the awaiting arm of the coat rack before it scuttled back to its corner. Ron was standing awkwardly against the wall of the narrow foyer.
“I’m glad you waited.” Ron smiled meekly.
“All you had to do was ask.”
Ron leaned forward, taking the other young man’s hand.
“What’s wrong?” asked Draco as he observed Ron’s shuddery breath.
Ron kissed him passionately, catching Draco pleasantly off-guard. With their foreheads pressed together, Ron confided, “If I don’t show you, do it now, I’ll lose my cool. Follow me quietly.” They silently walked through the living and stood at the foot of the stairs.
“Just apparate.” Draco whispered. “I didn’t further postpone my Appartation Test to teach you for nothing. Where to?”
“Outside of my room.”
“Are you-?”
“Draco, stop coddling me. I have to face facts.” And he was gone with a small pop; Draco followed suit.
Soon they were at their destinations. The two young wizards stood uncomfortably, side-by-side, inside the open doorway. Ron felt panicked but stood his ground. Draco walked inside, a few feet away from the other young man.
“I can’t go in there. Maybe one day. Perhaps never.”
“Perfectly fine with me.” Draco whispered as he surveyed the room. It was hideously orange. “I wouldn’t want you in this room anyhow. It’s a sickly orange in here. You would never enter this room until proper design was applied.” He grimaced at the disarrayed situation of the area.
Ron chuckled softly and nervously. He thought he could do it. “Draco, come on. Close the door.” He took a step back.
With a sigh, the blond listened to Ron and walked away from the room, closing it off to the world behind him. “Where now?”
“Fred and George’s room. Just down this flight. I may be ready…for…you know.” He headed down to his older brothers’ old room.
Draco could only accompany Ron. Words wouldn’t convince Ron to or not to do anything. He could wait. Draco wanted their first to be special and he certainly wanted Ron to enjoy it.
Ron opened the door and sat on the closer of the two beds. The moonlight cascaded over angular desks and soft curves of blankets and pillows. The former Slytherin closed the door behind him, locking it manually. His wand was downstairs in his inner pocket.
Looking over Ron, sitting so timidly, perched on the bed, skin sparkling in the moon’s radiance was breathtaking. He could have Ron right now. He knew he wanted him. He’d lusted for months after him. This could be his chance. But he knew better. Ron wouldn’t. Would he?
With a deep breath, Draco shuffled over to bed, slipping off his shoes in the process. He steadied himself next to Ron, trying to relax and sink into the cushion.
“I’m not sure if I’m ready.”
“Rules perhaps?”
“Well, no kissing me on the mouth. Yes, I know we already do that but it’s different in this situation. Don’t call me Ronald. Ron, maybe. But Weasley’s best.”
“Of course. Go on.”
“Ask before doing anything. And no means no. That’s it.”
“Are you sure?”
“I-I believe so.”
“You forgot to add in the rule where I always bottom until you’re ready.”
Ron grinned. In a calculated movement Ron leaned over to kiss Draco.
It was almost like they were back during that first night in February. So slow and innocent. Draco liked that. He gingerly placed his hand on Ron’s shoulder, deepening the kiss much to the excitement of Ron whose mouth instinctively opened to receive him.
He coaxed Ron to gradually lay on his back on the bed. Draco took Ron’s left hand and held on to it for moral support, resting it against the other boy’s chest.
“Wait. You didn’t ask. And besides, I didn’t say but I just thought of it. Don’t put your full weight on me.”
“That’s fine. I’m sorry.” He glanced into Ron’s dark eyes, hoping to not see disappointment or disgust.
“It’s okay. You know now. Please continue.”
And Draco did so. He unlaced their fingers and placed his palm against Ron’s cheek. The kiss ignited and passion flared. He ran his palm down the side of the pale neck, across his collarbone and down to his chest, which heaved as breathing became labored. It was great…and new and scary.
Ron liked this new closeness. He reveled in it. His senses were heightening. His breathing was becoming shallow. Not good. He knew this feeling. His body shook. His mind reeled. He knew Draco wouldn’t hurt him but…
…sweaty palms and labored breathing in his ear.
He couldn’t. He pulled away from Draco.
He shook his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.” He popped out of sight.
Draco flopped back onto the bed. He knew nothing soul shaking would happen this evening. He walked downstairs non-magically, giving Ron some time to collect himself.
In the living room the fire was started and Ron was curled in his favorite armchair, his blanket wrapped around him. This room was his now that he could never enter, live in his room.
Draco slowly made his way over to Ron, around the back of the chair and wedge himself in back of Ron, similarly to the day – Ron’s last day in which he divulged the secret of Percy harming him to his friends.
“I couldn’t do it. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I waited this long. I can wait longer. I want you to enjoy this more than myself. That’s why I’ll always bottom. So you know what it feels like to enter someone, become apart of someone.”
“You have never bottomed.” He said watery, trying of fight off the tears welling in his eyes.
“You’re the exception. You deserve a good first time.”
“Thank you.” A tear rolled down his cheek. Draco noticed and wiped it away.
“You’re welcome. But why did you attempt to do it?”
“Today is the one year anniversary of him raping me. I wanted to come full circle, to prove that he no longer had control over me, my body, or my life.”
“You’ve already done that. With me. We’ve lasted this long. We’ve kissed and done certain things you thought you could never do. I’m proud of you. I’m happy you’re my boyfriend.”
Ron turned and kissed Draco on the cheek. “I’m happy you are too.”
“Besides, I’ll just wank off when I get the chance.”
Ron chortled. “Good to know.”
“I thought so as well.”
The two remained in silence, watching the fire dwindle.
“I always wondered…I never saw you, first hand that is, without your memory. I remember clearly you stating you had no short-term memory.” Ron smirked.
Draco buried his face in Ron’s shoulder. “Well,” he murmured, “I did have some trouble the first day with it all. But I only threw that in your face. I was quite livid with you. You almost had me completely wiped off the face of this existence. It was a very temporary – few hours tops – side affect of the lack of oxygen. I just want to know why Pomfrey didn’t give me anything so I could be off on my way.”
“She told me. Ever since that first night, when I held your hand, she thought that we had an over-the-top lover’s quarrel. She wanted to keep you there as long as possible.”
“She’s a smart woman after all.” Draco splayed his hand across Ron’s chest, rubbing in circles absentmindedly.
“She is.”
Draco playfully kissed his neck. “We’ll have to send her a thank you card.”
“That’s good to hear. You actually care for someone enough to send them a card.” Ron suddenly had the urge to tell what he was really thinking. It couldn’t be too bad. “I love you.”
Draco dreaded this day. He cared for him, truly. But he knew that Ron may cling to him because of all this and he knew he wasn’t ready for love; he didn’t know what it was.
“You don’t have to say it back. My mum always said that it was always easier to tell someone what you feel, even if it’s jumble or you’re confused, than to hold it all inside for them to never know in the future.”
“She was very wise. I do care for you so much. I don’t know if it’s love but it has to be.”
“I guess I’m going to have to think…grieve her next. Will I ever have a breather?”
Draco smoothed back a tendril of red hair. “No.”
“I don’t think I can do it.”
“I’m here.”
“I mean the room. My old room. I would love to give you a tour of it yet that place only holds memories of him and the rapes. I have others get my clothes and other such things that it stores…I sleep down here.”
“Like I said, I’m here for you and only you. Ron, I’ve never given myself over to anyone except you. You mean too much to me. I want you to be my first…in a sense.” Draco smiled as he placed his chin on Ron’s shoulder.
Ron lifted his hand to cup his lover’s cheek. “I’m glad.”
The two didn’t notice the noise of someone coming down the stairs. Ginny silently made her way to the living room, a blanket in hand.
“Gross. That’s all I wanted to see. Did you two just-? Hold on, do I really want to know that?”
The two boys chuckled. “What’s with the blanket?”
She grinned. “Simple, Ron. Dad sent me down here to give this to Draco. He didn’t want him to be uncomfortable.” How did he know?
The End